update on love

it has come to my attention how much my God loves me. we’re not talking guy in the sky, we’re talking spirit of the universe, God who is love, God.

i have never been dropped on my ass. never. every time i have needed, the thing which i have needed has been provided. i never lack.

it is amazing to me how incredibly blessed i am. i kept saying lucky, but it’s not luck. none of it is luck. it’s my higher power, my God, the spirit of the universe. it’s that spirit saying, “i love you. so much.” it’s an amazing, wonderful, incredible thing.

this morning getting out of my car i was so keenly aware of my great many “blessings” and also of the fact that i did not deserve all i have been and am being given. i didn’t do anything to warrant the reception of such generosity, kindness, warmth. it is my God showering me with love as i struggle with shame.

someone in the office today mentioned what a clear sign this is of God showing me how he/she/it loves me. she kept saying that she didn’t know why, what message i needed to hear, but that obviously love was being poured out, beaten in even.

i realized that with so much going on in my life right now over which i am absolutely torn and ashamed, it is such a blessing to see and know these tangible signs of love. my god is saying to me over and over again, “I love you. You are enough. I love you. You are enough.”

i am enough.

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~ by Elle on June 5, 2009.

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